'ey yo spiced-out calvin coolidge, loungin' with seven duelers.

--NBA playoff reflections:

• KG got suspended for this, which some people think will bring out the emotion the Celtics have been lacking, and which others, Joakim Noah included, think is yet another example of KG's dirty play.  As a known KG fan (even though he's made it very hard on me since ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!!!!), I tend to think that KG's anger came more from the fact that he airballed a shot he would've sunk in his sleep just two years ago than any concern for Pierce.  His body is betraying him, and this season has given him a laundry list of reminders.  What I hate, though, is that people forget that the year he joined the Celtics he decisively won a vote of his fellow All-Stars on who they most wanted to see win a championship; I guess he's burned through all the goodwill he earned toiling in Minnesota.
• The offenses in the Nuggets-Jazz game were just ridiculously efficient, and Melo had a night befitting a superstar.  Even though I don't have any great love for the Nuggets, I'll gladly watch the Jazz lose every night.
• It's looking like my prediction for ugly games is going to come true in the East, and that the Heat are going to keep their streak of unwatchable playoff series alive.
• Finally, most of the games were more lopsided than the scores would show, especially in the East.  I can only hope that the Thunder will show a little more ferocity than they did in Game 1.

i guess we'll just have to adjust.

Going into the 4th quarter, the Super Bowl had given me absolutely everything I could have wanted.  Manning and Brees were both flawless, and the Saints were pulling ahead.  Fortunately, the tide continued to trend in the Saints' favor.  Unfortunately for the Colts, it meant an embarrassing meltdown in coaching and execution, including a pick that some blithering idiots (as far as football goes, anyway) have already decided defines Manning's career.

Nothing could be further from the truth.  As Aaron Schatz of Football Outsiders pointed out, we don't remember Favre by his Super Bowl loss to the Broncos.  Manning is still the greatest quarterback to play the game, and there's no doubt in my mind that he'll get another ring--if not several--by the time he retires.  Schatz's comment also served as a cagey reference to the historic similarities between the two games, which were one Reggie Wayne drop in the waning minutes from sharing the same final score (31-24).

everything is divided, nothing is complete.

--I’ve said in the past that it’s really pretty easy to root for both the Colts and the Saints. Not only are they in different conferences and accordingly don’t play each other much, but the prospect of the Saints getting to the Super Bowl at all (let alone playing the Colts in it) seemed inherently ridiculous. But there was a lurking anxiety throughout this season that the two teams—both franchises arguably having their most successful seasons ever—were on a collision course, and we’re now officially two weeks away.

what'll i do when i don't have you, when i finally get what i deserve?

--Sorry for the layoff. Blame it on my research paper (and the rain).

--A few very brief sports notes:

• Les Miles lost me in a complete and abject way on Saturday. The worst display of in-game coaching I have ever, ever witnessed. Gary Crowton, who I was reluctant to turn on earlier in the season, is clearly hurting this team. I could write more about this, and probably will should we lose to Arkansas (something that can't be terribly unlikely after a loss like that).
• In other news, Charlie Weis is toast, and UConn gets a tip of the cap from sentimental old me for it.
  
• Is there any way that the NFC Championship won't be Saints-Vikings or that the AFC Championship won't be Colts-Pats? Belichick was right to go for it on 4th and 2, by the way, but why not run there?
  
• A mock draft will be coming soon.
  
• The Celtics look worn out, plain and simple. I don't know if it makes me sadder to see K.G. losing a step or Glenn Dorsey struggling in Kansas City.
• The Hornets, meanwhile, knocked off the team with the best record with the West, the team with the best record in the East, and nearly the Heat on the road last night, despite having the league MVP sitting on the bench in (admittedly fresh) street clothes.
• Also, boo Lakers. Boo forever.
  

--I caught up on The Office and Community recently. "Murder" is in contention with "Product Recall" for the funniest Office episode I've ever seen. Meanwhile Community is getting better ("Intro to Statistics" was excellent) and that Alison Brie is quite the minx.

--As you may know, there were at least five good movies this year, and they're starting to trickle into the dollar theater. You can expect reviews for movies like The Informant, Inglourious Basterds, and Tyler Perry: I Can Do Bad All by Myself here very soon.

--Which German song is your favorite?

--Bon Iver, Bonnie "Prince" Billy, and the Rural Alberta Advantage have been in heavy rotation for me lately, and they're throwing some kinks into my presumed Top 10.

--It's real to me, damn it!

found eighteen reasons i can't pick up on the phone.

--Pretty close call on LSU, I'd say; I was there at the game, and I got my Psyduck on way later than I expected. Bama's defense didn't seem to have much of an answer for Jordan Jefferson's mobility, but Jordan Jefferson's ankles did, which, along with Patrick Peterson's cramps, killed the Tigers in that game. It was as much a loss to Gamblor, the fickle god of football fortune, as anything. As a rational fan I have to remind myself that, considering how low my hopes were for LSU's season after the Florida game, it'd be a huge win for stability to finish 11-2 (though with Arkansas and Ole Miss [giggity!] still on the schedule, no guarantees).

--Meanwhile, I'll be pulling for Bama from here on out. They played a very clean game against LSU despite the injuries, and I've got nothing but respect for their star players, especially Rolando McClain. Can't say the same for Florida or Texas.

--I swept the NFL picks, nearly going perfect on the Steelers-Broncos game. San Diego's passing attack shot the Giants' secondary dead when it mattered most, and Dallas won a (admitted more lo-fi than expected) game against Philly. The Colts did end up winning thanks to some dumb Schaub throws, and to those who say that the Texans got cheated on the questionable Ryan Moats fumble, two words: y'all jealous.

--Meanwhile, here's an update: the Patriots aren't for real. They're going to come back to earth as soon as they play the Colts (not pumped up for that game no not at all).

--YOU'RE WELCOME! DOUBLE YOU'RE WELCOME!

--Finally, a win for hustle and grit. Somewhere up there, Greg Paulus is smiling.

--Plus, a real dunk!

and satan is my motor (hear my motor purr).

One college pick, since I don't care about Penn St.-Ohio St.:

work well with nines, a.k.'s, and techs.

--The NBA's back, yo, along with the excellent The Basketball Jones podcast.

• The C's look about as good as they did in their championship run. Their depth is ridiculous, Sheed (BALL DON'T LIE!) looks like he belongs there, and they're the best team in the league if Doc can manage the vets' minutes.
• Their biggest competition? The Magic, whose much-touted offseason moves appear to be working out.
  
• Phoenix, San Antonio, and Denver, meanwhile, look like they can keep pace with the Pau-less Lakers in the West.
  
• Jason Maxiell eats babies. Not necessarily relevant, but it's always relevant.
• LeBron James may be better, but Dwyane Wade is actually fun to watch.
• The Knicks, Nets, and OKC fit roundly into the "not good, but a hell of a lot of fun" category.
• My Hornets, unfortunately, fit into the "not good, and agony to watch" category. Chris Paul is playing at an absurdly high level, and the team's still 1-3 against the bottom of the NBA barrel. Hope, baby, hope.
  

--Football, you say?

• I was in the ATL (where the dirty be found, I hear) over the weekend, so I didn't get to make any predictions. In all likelihood I only would've made NFL predictions, because of how roundly uninteresting the college matchups were (if you didn't see that USC loss coming, you are lacking in judgment!!!).
• For one thing, I would've picked Minnesota to beat the Pack. Green Bay's o-line has got to be in the running for worst in the league at pass protection, and Minny's d-line is still playing very well. Though I'd like to, I won't shortchange Favre; he was excellent, as he has been thus far all season.
• Baltimore-Denver was another interesting matchup, and again I would've correctly predicted the winner. Denver's inability to threaten deep (an option the Ravens left open to Orton all game) really cost them, and Orton's limitations could signal the beginning of a precipitous decline for the team.
• Colts-San Fran was unexpectedly tight; the Colts' run defense was, for a little while anyway, reminiscent of the 2006 regular season. Meanwhile the rush offense is as plainly ineffective as it's been the past year and a half. We need Gonzalez back, ASAP.
• New Orleans' win over Atlanta was also a lot tighter than I expected, although it hinged on some pretty lucky plays for Atlanta (Brees' fumble-TD, the no-call on the Roddy White TD). Some cracks in the Saints' facade are beginning to reveal themselves, but the team's responded well to adversity so far and is still the class of the league.
• Sorry if I ever said anything mean about you, Ted Ginn.

--As for the rest of this week's schedule, I'll have an extended preview of LSU-Bama along with some predictions and an album review.

i ain't passed the bar, but i know a little bit.

Before my predictions, I'd like to say a couple of things.

• First, I'd like to apologize for the long layoff. I realize that consistency is extremely important to keeping a blog running, and so I'll try to be that. Yeah.
  
• Second, there were a ton of html issues with that last post, so that I couldn't tag it or change the title, date, or font. Not sure why.
• Third, you're welcome.
  

Now, without further ado, the picks:

I think you're more than a terrified witness, behind the arbitrary line.

Football prediction party, beginning now:

ALABAMA at Ole Miss: Bama is, whether I like it or not, probably playing the soundest football in the country right now, and clearly has the best resume (garnered, however, on favorable matchups). Ole Miss' ballsy defense (an old-school man-blitz scheme) should keep Bama's inside power runs to a minimum and force McElroy to win a few battles himself. The problem is, he's shown himself to be capable of doing just that to teams who have played him that way. As for Ole Miss' offense, flip a coin. It's highly unlikely that Snead suddenly recovers his talents against Bama's D, but he's the sort of guy who either throws 4 picks or 4 tds in a game (gunslinger!), so don't count him out yet. Houston Nutt is also always good for an upset for every two staggering losses to underdogs.

My prediction: Luck is just fine, but a Process is better; Bama finally tears the heart out of Ole Miss' season, 35-10.

Auburn at ARKANSAS: The Vampire Jetgate Bowl is a lot harder for me to predict. Auburn's defense really is woefully bad, and will catch up to them sometime, I just don't know if that sometime is today. Arkansas' defense is also really bad, but I think that if their offense can stay on the field and chew up clock (Petrino's M.O. against spread offenses) it may not matter. Michael Smith is also the type of back (elusive, prone to breaking arm-tackles and beating safeties) who can cause a lot of problems for Auburn, assuming (and this is a fair assumption) that Mallett is having a good day throwing.

My prediction: If Auburn can run consistently, they'll win today, because it takes pressure off of Todd and also extends drives, helping their defense out. I think Arkansas' defense will take the run away from Auburn, though, and that Auburn's lack of a deep threat at wideout and a defense will finally cost them. Arkansas takes it, in a 31-28 type game.

FLORIDA at LSU: This matchup last year was one of the most miserable experiences of my relatively short career as a college football fan. LSU was on the verge of forcing a three-and-out from the best team in the country on its first drive, when Curtis Taylor, our free safety, batted the ball up (and seemingly away)...into Percy Harvin's waiting hands, who ran it in for a 70-yard touchdown. It set the tone for the rest of the game, which was a shadraching of epic proportions.

I think this year will be a distinctively different (but no less agonizing) type of loss. LSU's defense is improved to say the least, and has individual stars (particularly in the secondary) to rival Florida's. Our pass rush is fairly pedestrian, but our secondary is good enough to make it irrelevant. For the first time since I've been watching LSU, our linebackers are playing disciplined ball, so a lot of the option looks Florida uses will probably get shut down (look for Kelvin Sheppard and Perry Riley, LSU's outside guys, to both have big games on the perimeter).

This is all a moot point, however, if LSU can't score, and you better believe that they won't score against Florida's defense. You can basically only beat them by messing with their safeties on a good play-action fake, and since the line won't be able to run and since Jordan Jefferson is allergic to throwing the deep ball, we won't be doing much of that. There's nothing in the past 4 games for either team to suggest that LSU will be able to run (thanks Brandon Spikes) or throw its patented short-outs to its receivers (thanks Janoris Jenkins and Joe Haden), and with Jefferson at the helm that really is our offense. I love our receivers, but they can only make so many plays on their own.

My prediction: Death by a thousand cuts for LSU, losing about 20-10 to the gators.

I'd talk about Iowa-Michigan (hint: Pat Angerer gets Angererier) or Oregon-UCLA, but most of the games today pick themselves.

A smattering of NFL predictions:

Atlanta at SAN FRANCISCO: Atlanta has shown very little of last year's relationship between Matt Ryan and Roddy White, and if it's still ineffective this game (pleasepleaseplease) then Atlanta will lose. Patrick Willis will have another monster game, and could feasibly take both Tony Gonzalez and Michael Turner out of the game covering the middle.

My prediction: San Fran, in a 17-7 patented Shaun Hill win.

INDY at Tennessee: How does 0-5 sound, bitches? Manning and the Indy defensive line are on a crazy-hot streak and the Titans have no offense (sorry Chris Johnson) and no secondary, so I think this game calls itself. In all likelihood, unless the Titans suddenly become last year's Titans, it won't even be close.

My prediction: Indy, 28-10.

New England at DENVER: Tom Brady has regressed to his old, pre-2007 self, which is the real Tom Brady (25 TDs, 3,500 yards, 85 passer rating). It's certainly not a bad place to be, but Brady--and this team--just aren't what they were in 2007, to ESPN's utter disbelief. Its offense is no longer as explosive (though Randy Moss definitely still has it) and its defense is nothing special. Denver, meanwhile, has a defense I'm slowly coming around on (Elvis Dumerville sips pina coladas on a tropical island with me in my dreams) and the best offensive line in the league. They win ugly (thanks Kyle Orton!), but they do win.

My prediction: Denver, 14-13.

That's all for now. Can I get any feedback from you guys on the length of the predictions? I can do longer for each, shorter for each, more predictions, etc.