like a track team, crack fiend, dying to geek.

Sorry for the lack of postage, it's been celebration time ever since I finished my exams. Just like always after a layoff, instead of an actual post, here's some:

--Youtubery, the "they didn't expect this internet thing to pan out" edition:

• You be rappin bout tacos, Wayne Terrell was movin the shit.
  
• Snap that shit up.
• Yuck! Stop.
  
• Esto es vivia!
• Little, reclusive, power-filled monsters.
• Nick is total douche. Get with it, old man.
  

--With the right equipment, the image could be enlarged and sharpened.

--I'm expecting The Room, Tommy Wiseau's quirky black comedy, to be delivered in the next few days. My excitement is palpable.

(a thousand hat tips to EDSBS and Videogum).

you're a liar and that's the truth, you're an extra lost in the scene.

--NBA geopolitics are crystallizing pretty quickly.

• The Lakers are the lone superpower; they haven't been road tested, but I have my doubts about whether that will matter in the long run. This team just looks unstoppable.
• The Celtics and the Magic are the most likely spoilers. The former absolutely have to have everyone healthy and focused when the playoffs roll around, and the latter have to find a way to incorporate Jameer Nelson into their offense once he returns from injury.
  

• The Durantulas (OKC), Phoenix, and Houston are looking like teams you really don't want to run across in the playoffs.
• The Hornets are, a quarter of the way into the season, finally looking like they're ready for it. Chris Paul is the best player in the basketball.
• How's Shaq working out for you, Cavs? Is it finally not 2000 anymore?

--NFL geopolitics are also quite clear by now. It's a Cold War between the Saints and the Colts, who definitely look to be on a collision course. The Colts' traditional playoff foes, the Steelers and the Patriots, are both reeling, and the Saints' greatest challengers, the Vikings, just got blown out on national television.

--Suh for Heisman. If not him, Gerhart. If not Gerhart, Spiller, who didn't even get the invite to New York.

--This is awesome, both as a "Justin Vernon is a really cool guy" story and as a potentially very interesting musical exercise.

--And now a Larry Bird story, via Wikipedia: During one game on Christmas Day against the Indiana Pacers, before the game Bird told Chuck Person that he had a Christmas present waiting for him. During the game, when Person was on the bench, Bird shot a three-pointer on the baseline right in front of Person. Immediately after releasing the ball, Bird said to Person, "Merry fuckin' Christmas!", and then the shot went in. This was no doubt inspired by Person (nicknamed the "Rifleman") stating prior to the game that "The Rifleman is Coming, and He's Going Bird Hunting."

florabamageddon 2: the quickening.

For the second year in a row, the biggest game of the year is the SEC Championship, and for the second year in a row it's between Florida and Alabama. Last year, the Gators managed to win despite the loss of All-Everything hybrid wideout Percy Harvin to glass bone syndrome; this year, they attempt the same despite the loss of defensive end Carlos Dunlap to serious brain cramps (a DUI a week before the biggest game of the season).

Last year, the story was very much Nick Saban's defense versus Urban Meyer's offense. With the losses of Harvin and offensive coordinator Dan Mullen, however, the Fightin' Tebows have suffered a precipitous decline on offense, the result of deficiencies in pass protection and playcalling diversity (divey dive dive TEBOW SMASH Aaron Hernandez post route divey dive dive kooky option). Florida's defense, however, is a mangler of untold proportions. Saban's defense is certainly nasty and executes better than anyone else in the country, but Charlie Strong's is undoubtedly the more creative, more explosive, and dirtier of the two. If you buy into this game as a duel between Mark Ingram and Tim Tebow, I think you'll be gravely disappointed.

you've got to enjoy the little things.

Zombieland is a zomromcom in the tradition of Shaun of the Dead, another very clever, very reverent pastiche of zombie movie tropes. Though not without its flaws, the film is a unique and occasionally hilarious take on very well-tread cinematic territory.

so it wasn't a game, cracking all the mirrors in shame.

Since I don't have much insight to give everybody today, I can only post that which brings me the most joy in this world, delightful youtubery:

--A Thanksgiving miracle!

--I had pretty much assumed that this was how it went down.

--This is about how I feel about metal in general.

--From what I've heard, they never mention this again in the movie.

--I can't believe I had never heard of this movie and Tommy Wiseau's caveman hair before today. Seriously, it's the gift that keeps on giving (topical!). I have an extremely hard time believing that almost the entire cast had never been in a feature length film before.

--The Room's staunchest competition, though? MKA, baby.

--And finally, some Bynumite, ladies and gentlemen.

Coming up tomorrow and Friday: a Zombieland review and a preview of the SEC Championship.

38-17.

To quote Matt Millen: "Statement game, shmatement game." That was one hell of a shmatement game. Unstoppable offense and AGGRO-CRAG defense from a team that isn't even at full strength. I couldn't be more excited.

lord, how i want to be in that number when the sun refuse to shine.

Since their inaugural season in 1967, the New Orleans Saints have been unparalleled at one thing. Unlike the Pittsburgh Steelers, it hasn't been excellent defense. Unlike the Indianapolis Colts, it hasn't been for quarterbacks who have defined entire eras. Few Saints have been placed in the pantheon of great players, and no one has ever referred to the Superdome in the same hushed tones as Lambeau.

what'll i do when i don't have you, when i finally get what i deserve?

--Sorry for the layoff. Blame it on my research paper (and the rain).

--A few very brief sports notes:

• Les Miles lost me in a complete and abject way on Saturday. The worst display of in-game coaching I have ever, ever witnessed. Gary Crowton, who I was reluctant to turn on earlier in the season, is clearly hurting this team. I could write more about this, and probably will should we lose to Arkansas (something that can't be terribly unlikely after a loss like that).
• In other news, Charlie Weis is toast, and UConn gets a tip of the cap from sentimental old me for it.
  
• Is there any way that the NFC Championship won't be Saints-Vikings or that the AFC Championship won't be Colts-Pats? Belichick was right to go for it on 4th and 2, by the way, but why not run there?
  
• A mock draft will be coming soon.
  
• The Celtics look worn out, plain and simple. I don't know if it makes me sadder to see K.G. losing a step or Glenn Dorsey struggling in Kansas City.
• The Hornets, meanwhile, knocked off the team with the best record with the West, the team with the best record in the East, and nearly the Heat on the road last night, despite having the league MVP sitting on the bench in (admittedly fresh) street clothes.
• Also, boo Lakers. Boo forever.
  

--I caught up on The Office and Community recently. "Murder" is in contention with "Product Recall" for the funniest Office episode I've ever seen. Meanwhile Community is getting better ("Intro to Statistics" was excellent) and that Alison Brie is quite the minx.

--As you may know, there were at least five good movies this year, and they're starting to trickle into the dollar theater. You can expect reviews for movies like The Informant, Inglourious Basterds, and Tyler Perry: I Can Do Bad All by Myself here very soon.

--Which German song is your favorite?

--Bon Iver, Bonnie "Prince" Billy, and the Rural Alberta Advantage have been in heavy rotation for me lately, and they're throwing some kinks into my presumed Top 10.

--It's real to me, damn it!

found eighteen reasons i can't pick up on the phone.

--Pretty close call on LSU, I'd say; I was there at the game, and I got my Psyduck on way later than I expected. Bama's defense didn't seem to have much of an answer for Jordan Jefferson's mobility, but Jordan Jefferson's ankles did, which, along with Patrick Peterson's cramps, killed the Tigers in that game. It was as much a loss to Gamblor, the fickle god of football fortune, as anything. As a rational fan I have to remind myself that, considering how low my hopes were for LSU's season after the Florida game, it'd be a huge win for stability to finish 11-2 (though with Arkansas and Ole Miss [giggity!] still on the schedule, no guarantees).

--Meanwhile, I'll be pulling for Bama from here on out. They played a very clean game against LSU despite the injuries, and I've got nothing but respect for their star players, especially Rolando McClain. Can't say the same for Florida or Texas.

--I swept the NFL picks, nearly going perfect on the Steelers-Broncos game. San Diego's passing attack shot the Giants' secondary dead when it mattered most, and Dallas won a (admitted more lo-fi than expected) game against Philly. The Colts did end up winning thanks to some dumb Schaub throws, and to those who say that the Texans got cheated on the questionable Ryan Moats fumble, two words: y'all jealous.

--Meanwhile, here's an update: the Patriots aren't for real. They're going to come back to earth as soon as they play the Colts (not pumped up for that game no not at all).

--YOU'RE WELCOME! DOUBLE YOU'RE WELCOME!

--Finally, a win for hustle and grit. Somewhere up there, Greg Paulus is smiling.

--Plus, a real dunk!

and satan is my motor (hear my motor purr).

One college pick, since I don't care about Penn St.-Ohio St.: