this is not 'Nam. this is blogging. there are rules.

I made this blog because

• I'm jealous of Mac's blog
• I remember the salad days of LiveJournal, where I would spend hours writing posts only to get zero comments (unless you count Chris Coffee, which I don't)
  
• Just kidding, Chris, everyone gets a free ticket to Zingtown on occasion
• I'm not entirely sure it's not 2004 right now
• Speaking of which, remember how great Garden State was?
• Not really :(
• I'm a narcissist (ladies).

I'll almost certainly be writing about sports, music, movies, and books here in blogfrica, and I'll do my due diligence when it comes to avoiding my personal life (saving the rainforest, inventing a perpetual-motion machine, creating a pheromone to keep the amount of women who mob me on a day-to-day basis manageable) and stick to what you guys really want to read, which are my fascinating opinions. If you don't care about sports, then don't read my sports posts (you sissies). If you don't care about music/movies/books, then don't read those posts (you illiterate Babylonians).

I'll avoid anything and everything to do with philosophy/politics, because more like bore-ophyll, amirite? Yes, I'm right. Besides, I don't want to create deep and abiding tensions within our tightly-knit community so soon (do I look like Ayn Rand to you?). If something really grinds my gears (or chaps my caboose, if I may be so crass), politically speaking, I'll ignore it if at all possible. If something tragic happens (not that tragedies happen anymore, because if I remember correctly a certain Texan is out of the White House [topical!]) I'll probably ignore that, too, for the sake of not looking back on said entry a year later and rolling my eyes at the hyperbole.

In short, this is a blog about culture, except for the politics and religion parts of it (which nobody in this country cares about duh). In addition to answering certain burning questions, my hope is that, in the distant future, while lounging on their spacecouches and smoking their astroturf, the three-eyed indigo children who read this blog will say, "Ah, this is what the ancient hoo-mahns called Brain Porn! (also featuring sports on a weekly basis!)" and then laugh and laugh at our feeble attempts to rival their spacecomedy.